The Ballad of Deborah and Eugene

from by PunyWump

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Part one of a trilogy on one couple's divorce


Fuck off Eugene, you drunk son of a bitch!
I never loved you! you’re a fat sack of piss

What the fuck deborah, get out of my house!
Take your japanese shoes and your button up blouse!
Did you ever stop and think what you’re doing is wrong?
Did you forget about our life and the kids and the dog?

They’re my kids, Eugene, and the little dog too!
My button up blouse and my japanese shoes
I’m never coming back to your shithole home
I hope you shit yourself twice and break your xylophone.

Fuck right off, Deborah, I’m through with your shit!
Every single time you say you’re calling it quits
Who will pay the little one’s karate class bills?
You’d have to find work, but you don’t have any skills.
Who is gonna buy you new kaleidoscope pants
with the sparkles on the side for the high school dance.

I hate you eugene, you’ve ruined my life.
I’d kill you right here if I could handle a knife
I can get a job and support the kids too
Maybe surprise jimothy with alchemy boots.
You’ve only held me back with your blow up doll face.
These last fifteen years were a big fucking waste.
For once I think I’m gonna do what I fucking want
I’ll leave your fat ass, and take the kids to vermont

Again with Vermont, deborah! When will it stop?
The only work that’s there is at the rotary shop.
I wish you’d stop and think. I wish you’d fucking learn.
It’s a fucking miracle you didn’t crash and burn.

You’re an evil man, Eugene. You’re bad outta hell.
With your kerosine dreams and your dinnertime bell.
Don’t try and find me when you get yourself sober.
We both know you’ll fail, this marriage is over!

You’ll never walk, Deborah, you pickle nosed coward
You’ve always been a sucker for my alchemy powers
You wanna leave, Fine! Get outta my house!
Take your japanese shoes and your button up blouse.
Pack a fucking bag and find the next train,
and don’t let me see your fat fuck face again!
You whore!


from Wump is Me, released January 29, 2017



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