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Wump is Me

by PunyWump

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R Ferron
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R Ferron If only i where a slug and not a human. 10/10 album Favorite track: Slug.
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1.
Lemme just get this out of the way For the next six songs, I'll do and say A lot of things that don't portray The healthiest examples of how to treat your loved ones Mary! Mary! Mary! Mary! Mary, it's George! Don't you know me? What's happened to us? I don't know you! Let me go! Mary! Please! Oh, don't do this to me! Please, Mary! Help me! Where's our kids? I need you, Mary! -Screams- Let me go! That's my wife!
2.
Slug 03:06
I am not your hero I am just a slug Capable of slime Capable of love I am in your garden I am on your lawn I observe you As I slowly move on I wish I could be with you But you’re not a slug You don’t want my slime You don’t want my love You don’t want to let me Slide across your head You don’t want to hold me You won’t share your bed You won’t ever love me and there’s nothing I can do Sliding through my sadness slowly slithering to you Every day is torture All I do is wait I watch you sleep with Chad After every date He doesn’t really love you I don’t think he can He is an embodiment The vanity of man I can give you kindness Humility and love He will not support you When push comes to slug I will be here for you Hiding in your lawn I will watch and love you Every dusk and every dawn You won’t ever love me and there’s nothing I can do Sliding through my sadness slowly slithering to you I wish I were not a slug so you would give me all your love I wish I were not a slug so you would give me all your love Sure, it isn’t healthy I don’t care Others come and go I’ll always be there I’m so fucking lonely Without you by my side Slugs do not have friends Slugs do not have wives Please, I need fulfillment I’m begging for your love I hate not having agency I hate being a slug I hate my fucking life And I hate Chad, too I take all my self loathing And I place the weight on you You won’t ever love me and there’s nothing I can do Sliding through my sadness slowly slithering to you
3.
Fuck off Eugene, you drunk son of a bitch! I never loved you! you’re a fat sack of piss What the fuck deborah, get out of my house! Take your japanese shoes and your button up blouse! Did you ever stop and think what you’re doing is wrong? Did you forget about our life and the kids and the dog? They’re my kids, Eugene, and the little dog too! My button up blouse and my japanese shoes I’m never coming back to your shithole home I hope you shit yourself twice and break your xylophone. Fuck right off, Deborah, I’m through with your shit! Every single time you say you’re calling it quits Who will pay the little one’s karate class bills? You’d have to find work, but you don’t have any skills. Who is gonna buy you new kaleidoscope pants with the sparkles on the side for the high school dance. I hate you eugene, you’ve ruined my life. I’d kill you right here if I could handle a knife I can get a job and support the kids too Maybe surprise jimothy with alchemy boots. You’ve only held me back with your blow up doll face. These last fifteen years were a big fucking waste. For once I think I’m gonna do what I fucking want I’ll leave your fat ass, and take the kids to vermont Again with Vermont, deborah! When will it stop? The only work that’s there is at the rotary shop. I wish you’d stop and think. I wish you’d fucking learn. It’s a fucking miracle you didn’t crash and burn. You’re an evil man, Eugene. You’re bad outta hell. With your kerosine dreams and your dinnertime bell. Don’t try and find me when you get yourself sober. We both know you’ll fail, this marriage is over! You’ll never walk, Deborah, you pickle nosed coward You’ve always been a sucker for my alchemy powers You wanna leave, Fine! Get outta my house! Take your japanese shoes and your button up blouse. Pack a fucking bag and find the next train, and don’t let me see your fat fuck face again! You whore!
4.
How do I let you know I’ve been thinking about you at night Going on a year now, without coming on too strong? How do I let you know, Without being creepy That I just wanna hold you in my arms And let you know how much you mean to me A lover and a friend. Well I can’t do that It would be uncomfortable You know how it would end How do I tell you clearly That I wanna hold you dearly And I just want to love you And fuck the shit out of you, without ruining our friendship? How do I make you understand That I just wanna hold your hand And your thighs and chest and bottom And for you to hold my scrottum Without it being weird? Well I can’t do that. You know full well It would be weird.
5.
Everything I’ll ever want is waiting for me in Vermont. I’ll pony up and leave the bay, To see Vermont another day (Repeat) Dale is good to the kids and me, why do the gossips care That I met him on eHarmony? There’s lots of folks on there. I’ll raise my family in ecstacy, on vermont’s plateaus. Fuck what Eugene expects of me, I’ll give vermont a go! It’s got the 3rd best public schools in the world, and the prisons they cant be beat! I need to make it there for my boy and girl, won’t need Eugene to make ends meet. I’ll make it there and the world will see, the world will see me fly! I can almost taste the Vermont Hennessee, and the Knuckle berry pie! Everything I’ll ever want is waiting for me in Vermont. I’ll pony up and leave the bay, To see Vermont another day Oh Vermont, I’m comin quick I’ve got my california stick I’ve got my shoes, I’ve got my hat We’ll hit vermont, Just fancy that! There’s always free karate class for vermontinian kids! You can always find a fishin bass, if you’ve got the highest bid. It’s got the most phils per capita of all the fifty states The youngins won’t even laugh at ya- or your online date I’ll find a job at the rotary shop, probably just crankin gears There’s always extra soda pop if you dry the boss’s ears It’s the home of maserati cars, and no wash ten nis shoes Vermont’s the place away too far I can’t afford to lose! Oh vermont, I’m comin for ya face first to the wind. I am deborah palikova, won’t you let me in? My life is in shambles, and I need vermont’s grace Pack your parka Jimothy, we’re gonna leave this place V-E-R-M-O-N-T OH! V-E-R-M-O-N-T OH! V-E-R-M-O-N-T OH! V-E-R-M-O-N-T OH! Vermont! (Riff on it)
6.
I miss you a lot I miss you a lot I shouldn’t have left I wish I had thought I wish I had loved you I wish I had cared I wish you were here I wish I were there. I wish I had tried To make things work I wish I wasn’t Such a selfish jerk I wish I had loved you I wish I had cared I wish you were here I wish I were there As long as we are both alive And squishy, flawed, uncompromising You know full well I will be In love with you so hopelessly And asking you to take me back Is such a selfish load of crap My desperate imperfect plea Oh won’t you please grow old with me? I wish I could Apologize For all the hurt And all the lies The promises I couldn’t keep All the times I didn’t weep We’re not who we Were dreaming of But now that push Has come to slug We’ve been through hell So many times I need to change I need to try As long as we are both alive And squishy, flawed, uncompromising You know full well I will be In love with you so hopelessly And asking you to take me back Is such a selfish load of crap My desperate imperfect plea Oh won’t you please grow old with me? If I come home, will you please marry me? Life without you’s fucking scaring me Don’t know how I left so readily Who will share a twin sized bed with me? I can fix my selfish tendencies We’ll cope with our codependency Insecurity and jealousy Life without you’s fucking hell to me As long as we are both alive And squishy, flawed, uncompromising You know full well I will be In love with you so hopelessly And asking you to take me back Is such a selfish load of crap My desperate imperfect plea Oh won’t you please grow old with me?
7.
Eugene Dies 02:28
The kids are gone, that bitch to blame! The only fucking thing remains persisting overwhelming shame that things will never be the same Endless nights of whiskey pot and infidelity forgetten Wishing that we hadn’t fought in every fit of feeling rotten The stench of liquor on my skin the only judgement of my sin is fucking judgement from within, my skull feels like it’s caving in The tragedy’s becoming clear, I fucking miss you deborah, dear These lonely nights of tears for fears and lean cuisine and costco beer it’s not enough, I hate my life, I fucking miss my fucking wife I fucking miss my fucking wife, I fucking miss my fucking wife I know I know I know that what I did to you was wrong. The irony of knowing what I should have all along It’s way too fucking late to fix the problems that I made I wish I could have changed before the love began to fade The bed’s too big, the night’s too long, the half and half is almost gone I live a lie, it isn’t fine. There’s too much quiet all the time The supertarget’s filled with dust, my boss smells like the city bus I stock the shelves, it never ends, the hula hoops and jelly pens. Bitter hours of harsh reflection, crying in the produce section Children staring, wond’ring why the sweaty balding worker guy is breathing heavy near the chips. I’m fucking done, I hate this shit. The job, the house, the in-between, the emptiness of everything. It’s not enough, I miss my wife, I fucking hate my fucking life I fucking hate my fucking life, I fucking hate my fucking life. I know I know I know that what I did to you was wrong. The irony of knowing what I should have all along It’s way too fucking late to fix the problems that I made I wish I could have changed before the love began to fade It’s not enough just screaming that I’m sorry at the wall Excruciation knowing I can’t get to you at all all consuming loneliness is overwhelming me every night it begs the question be or not to be Utter fucking worthlessness is all that I can feel The time slips through my fingers but the wounds refuse to heal I stand here with the xanax doing anything to stall The time has come the wait is over, goodbye to you all.

about

Comedy music about heartbreak.

Individual tracks are available for free download, but you should definitely kick me a few bucks if you are in a position to. I poured a lot of time and love into this strange bullshit.

credits

released January 29, 2017

Instrumentation, vocals, and recording performed by PunyWump

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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PunyWump Austin, Texas

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